Hello 👋 To My New 4.9 Million Best Friends in the Valley of the Sun
I'm back in Phoenix and it's wonderful.
The circumstances that brought me back here are dismal; I’m middle-aged now, which means we’re all getting older. I’m at “that age” where most of us go home, wherever that is, to be with family.
It’s been a hard time because moving across the country is simply difficult. But I handled it well, decluttered like my life depended on it, and stayed sober.
Then, my aunt passed away after a long illness and I was able to spend time with her during the final 12 days of her life—more time than I ever imagined I’d get with her. Friends say she waited for me and they may be right. But it’s also in her nature to be stubborn. I know it wasn’t in her heart to leave us.
Her funeral was yesterday. Again, I stayed sober.
I find it’s easier to NOT drink than it is to engage in behaviors that would MAKE me drink.
So I found myself in a place I’d left long ago—an AA meeting. I also found myself not hating it. The thriving recovery community is one of the hidden gems of Phoenix. The choices of meetings are endless and they’re having an “Alcothon,” or 24 hours of AA meetings from noon on Christmas Eve to noon on Christmas Day.
There’s a certain richness to this that supports a city of what is now 4.9 million people.
If you want to go to an AA meeting, there seem to be several choices nearly every hour anyway. There’s almost no need for an Alcothon.
A Forward-Thinking Place To Live
I had read this article in Axios over the summer after I’d already decided I’d move back to America’s hottest city. While I’m not in the semiconductor industry and don’t have a need to take a ride in a Waymo, this article helped me feel I’d made the right choice.
Around the time I left Wichita, I noticed many local small businesses were closing there. I’d done my research as I completed my RYT-200 and realized I’d probably never be able to make a living as a yoga teacher in Wichita, though the options for yoga had grown in the 13 years I was there.
The healthcare system there leaves much to be desired. For example, there’s a single allergist in the state and she’s located in rural Hutchinson. Please tell me why I had to drive an hour to see her when I lived in Wichita—the most populated city in Kansas.
I think what terrified me most was having to go through what I had in 2021. That’s when I got the virus, suffered due to poor healthcare, and had to deal with even poorer career opportunities. I pivoted to remote freelance work and haven’t looked back!
But to be completely honest, the lack of career opportunities in Wichita dates back to 2015 for me. If I found an opportunity, it didn’t pay well. Yes, the cost of living is lower in Wichita. But I find it’s worth it to pay more to be in Phoenix.
Phoenix is a smorgasbord of career opportunities, a network I began building 23 years ago, and a winter playground. My niece told me the buses run constantly, which is unlike Wichita, where buses stop running after 6:00 p.m. Though I’m a car owner now, this is a useful metric by which to judge a city. Does it take care of its people? On every level? Or only certain people?
If I want to return to one of my alma maters, The Southwest Institute of the Healing Arts, that’s just a drive to Tempe. I have my pick of grocery stores here and many more options for gluten-free food.
Yes, it’s going to be a hot summer. Yes, it’s crowded right now during snowboard season. Yes, rent is more expensive.
For me, the alternative would have been staying in Wichita for really no good reason as I’m a remote worker now. It’s hard to travel and and out of Wichita due to there being no direct flights. With my aunt living on borrowed time throughout this year, this was a major point of contention for me. There was no quick and easy trip home if needed. And have you ever tried to drive from Wichita to Missouri? Jesus Christ, build a highway! Widen that sadness already.
Take the train, you say? Only if I can find someone willing to drive me to Newton in the middle of the night. Direct flight? Sure, if I drive 3 hours to Oklahoma City first. Or 4 hours to Kansas City. Major sports teams? Nope. Though Shocker basketball was a joy of my life (during the Fred Van Vleet days).
I drove back into Phoenix on I-17, expecting the bumper-to-bumper experience I’d known most of my life. Not so anymore. There were SEVERAL lanes. Thank God for GPS because I recognized nothing driving in. I clung to that GPS my first week back as most of my old visual cues were gone.
Are Midwestern people nicer with their “opes,” 30-minute goodbyes, and the sing-for-your-supper weather talk everywhere you go? Not really. Phoenix people are nicer than I remember. A goodbye here is also a goodbye without the lengthy rigamarole. And nobody responds when I say “you’re fine” to an apology. Go figure.
There’s no perfect place, but there are far more reasons to live in Phoenix than there are in
Wichita. Many of my favorite places still exist here in Phoenix. There’s progress here.
My niece and nephew are savvy, cosmopolitan young adults. They live in America’s 5th largest city and they know it. They can go see Beyonce or Taylor Swift in concert. They can go watch a Suns game and experience Giannis or Steph when they come to town.
They can choose what they want to do for a living and there will be opportunities; they won’t have choices dictated to them by place. Truth is, I’d be far more concerned about their futures if they were living in Wichita, where I’ve seen youth flounder and take fast food jobs.
There are two truths, however:
Wherever you go, there you are.
Every place is what you make of it.
The second one is in line with my belief that each of us is the architect of our own destiny. Hence, I named my wellness business Destiny Architecture®. (It has its own free newsletter on Ghost, which I can control and own, unlike this).
At this point, I’m not quite sure what I will post here on Substack, or that you should even pay me $8 for it. Maybe I’ll post my based takes here. Maybe I’ll post behind-the-scenes (BTS) content. Maybe I’ll stick to writing newbie takes about my return to what is now a giant city I don’t recognize. Maybe I’ll write middle-aged woman stuff just to show we exist and thrive, despite what other age groups may believe. Maybe I’ll post serious stuff. Who knows? I don’t.
But if you want to read about taking personal responsibility to become the architect of your own destiny, that’s definitely what I’ll be posting here. 😊